Lisa SXXXXXXXX

20 September 20XX

Japanese Club

ISSHO NI NATSU WO OWARIMASHOU

“It’s never luck, it’s always God.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks. Honestly, I didn’t think that far. It sounded deep, I guess. But I’m just teasing him. It isn’t deep. It doesn’t matter at all.

I’m waiting for all my friends to come. I’m waiting for Jim, Miranda/Chickarrin, and Duane now, too. This is my friend group. These people are in my Nihongo no Saakuru. We’re really close. We get along really well, and we all like Japanese stuff like anime, culture, music, and... yeah.

We’re really good friends—even Shingo-san, here. He’s a bit of a stiff, but I can’t say I don’t like him. No, not like-like him. I don’t feel that way for like, anyone. I know he has a crush. I notice the way he looks at me, what he says about me that Jim tells me when I’m not here, the way he talks to me. Yeah, I’ve met so many other guys just like him. It gets old.

I asked him that funny thing I came up with just to see what he would say. It’s really quiet and kinda awkward, so just breathe. Just breathe like always, and it’ll be alright. I’ve done this thing like, so many times before. I’ve done it with my hands tied, and a blindfold, and without any underwear, and on a leash, and chained up outside, and…

But I won’t tell you any of that, Shingo-san. I… ugh, I could just scream my head off about all the things that’ve been done to me. I could tell you everything. I could fall apart here and fucking now. Watch me, won’t you?

But I don’t. My poker-face makes me “appear structured,” Mama used to say. No man likes a crying whore. “No man likes you, anyways.”

This is so just fucking wrong. This is all just fucking wrong. I get so sick of being alone. I don’t even like anime.