Chickarrin Fann

28 November 20XX

Bedroom

EVENTUALLY

Eventually, I’ll have his baby. Eventually, we’ll have matching rings. He’ll give me a diamond (even though I don’t need one). We’ll raise our children somewhere with every season, without dirt, or filth, or trash in the streets, or in their beds, or anything like here.

And… and they’ll also have lots of good food to eat. And also, I’ll always take them to the doctor on time. They’ll have the cleanest teeth, they’ll get all their homework done, and I’ll always be there. Mama will always be there. Eventually, it’ll be like this. But not today…

Today, I’m laying in bed, looking at all the dishes on my nightstand, and Rock—my rock—said it grossed him out, but he was nice about it (even though he’s… throwing up right now). Totemo byouki desu…

Mom put cardboard in my windows so nobody would look in. It’s really dark outside and inside. I turn my lamp on, and I see stuff floating in the air. The floor’s covered in clothes, and I almost trip on some cans when I crawl back in bed. Now I can see what’s on me.

It’s exactly like he said. It happened exactly like he wanted. I press my index and middle fingers on my stomach, and it stretches when I pull them away. It smells like fish. Sakana ga suki desuka?

Sugoku oishii desu yo. Watashi wa kono tabemono ga ichiban suki desu…

This is my favorite food. Will you still love me when I tell you that, Rokku-san? Would you let me tell you that? I’d eat your vomit. Anata no byouki wo tabemasu. I will eat your disease.

Come back now. I’ve waited for so long, but I can’t anymore. You’re the one I wanted since I was shougakusei, desu! I need you more than anything in my messed up world. I’ve been alone for so long now, but now, you’re finally here.

I never want you to leave again.