Lisa SXXXXXXXX

31 October 20XX

Garage

MY DEAR

My throat hurts really bad. What if I started coughing up blood, Shingo-san? God, where are you, already? Who notices my corpse if I die alone? Will it be you?

It’s like torture waiting here. There’s huge piles of ash all over the floor. This place stinks of shit, piss and cigarettes. I gag. I gag again, I gag so much. Everything fucking smells because Mom didn’t sweep again. Again.

They’re fighting again. I hear muffled screams and like, the sound of meat slapping… my parents. “Motherfucker!” she says, and she—Mom—is crying really hard, because Dad hits really… hard. So I… I just have to wait. If I say nothing, I’ll be okay. Just don’t fucking talk.

“Sit in the garage. Be cold, my dear, I’ll put my hands around you and make it nice.” Those are his words, not mine, like the kind of shit that happened all the time back then… I hated it, really. So gross…

I stare at the light. It’s just a bulb in a cage. I let it burn out my pupils until everything’s like, shiny, kinda.

But yeah, my tights are torn. What’s Shingo gonna think? Well, shit, I can just tear ‘em off and stick myself on his lap, whatever, it’s cool. Don’t stress, I’m not stressed. It’s just more of the same, I’m used to this shit. You hear it enough, it stops mattering. You hear it enough.

“Fucking slut!”

I hear the floor shake. “Bastard!” And then I hear it shake again, and it just kept happening. I put my hands to the heater. I see new marks on my forearm. Some of them are gray, and I can still feel a numb stinging. When I shower, the water’ll probably peel the skin off.

I could be here all night, Shingo. Please, my dear, please.