Chickarrin Fann

25 October 20XX

Japanese Club

HOW DO YOU RETURN FROM THAT

“How do you return from that?!” I said, and then I give him a good, slug in the arm!

“You just do!” he says, “What can I say? Some things just um, you just gotta work it out, in what ways you can.”

Me and Rock are talking right now (watashi wa ima Rokku-san to hanashite imasu). I don’t remember how it started, but we ended up talking about crushes and love and all that ooey, gooey stuff. He had a girlfriend for awhile. We didn’t talk that much around then.

But they broke up, and now we chat all the time (I wonder why)! The meeting just ended, and I’m waiting for my ride. We stand in the lobby, and he waits with me. There’s nobody else around. It’s dark out.

He has a car, and he can leave whenever. But he still waits here with me, in this dead, dull lobby. The tile on the floor shines like a chalky, red and green checkerboard. The sky is dark like lake-water… not really blue. Not really.

I like the way he laughs. He’s good at it (jouzu desu nee!). It makes me feel warm when it’s cold outside. It makes me wish he embraced me, and I could feel the roughness of his jacket, and his face, and his hands, but it’s all so warm (atatakai nee).

Ask him! Do it, Chickarrin, ask him! Ask him before it ends! Ask him before it’s over! Ask him before I might never see him again! Ask him before I might never see the sun again! Ask him before I get in that car and go dark places! Ask him before he doesn’t look at me! Ask him before I eat cold french fries for dinner, in the kitchen, alone, and there’s trash on TV, and Mom isn’t home—and nobody else is—just ask him, get it over with! Get it over with!

“Sumimasen. Shitsumon ga arimasu,” I said. He looks at me like he always does.